


Tainted Innocence

by Sterling70



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:28:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29592828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sterling70/pseuds/Sterling70
Summary: "For as long as she lived she would always remember that particular Christmas when she first met Xander Wilde. If she had known that the shy boy would one day become her worst enemy she would have left on the spot and never returned."Lynn Parker begins a dangerous friendship with the adoptive son of her family's best friends. She doesn't know what kind of darkness lurks beneath the facade of intelligence and reticence until it's too late to escape the net that Jeremiah Valeska has been spinning for 15 years to keep her close.
Relationships: Jeremiah Valeska/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> A warning before you read
> 
> This is a dark romance. If you are a reader who prefers fluffy stories then Tainted Innocence might not be the best choice. I do not intend to change Jeremiah Valeska or to redeem him. I try to write him as he's portrayed in the show while throwing in an romantic interest and sticking to the show's plot in later chapters.
> 
> I truly hope that some of you might enjoy my take on his story arc.
> 
> Have fun reading what crawled out of my head ;).

Chapter I

For as long as Lynn could remember her parents had been close friends with the Wilde family. At least once a month they would come to their luxurious mansion which was situated in a rather rural area far away from the sinister, depressing city that was Gotham.

In fact the Wildes and Parkers were so close that they even spend each Thanksgiving and Christmas together. When Lynn was a child, she'd often wondered why Anne Wilde deemed it necessary to dote over her like her own mother and why the latter never felt awkward about her friends odd behaviour. It was only when she got older that Lynn realised that Anne had always wanted to have a child of her own. Unfortunately, Anne had been diagnosed as infertile, so little Lynn had been somewhat of a surrogate for the dream child Misses Wilde would never have. Lynn didn't mind her strange behaviour. In fact she was basking in the affection the woman held for her. She was like another, although much younger grandmama. Never angry with her, always willing to play a game, making the best presents ever, treating her like a little princess.

However, things changed when Lynn turned ten. For as long as she lived she would always remember that particular Christmas when she first met Xander Wilde. If she had known that the shy boy would one day become her worst enemy, she would have left on the spot.

*

"Don't forget the bag with the presents, Howard."

Lynn suppressed a giggle as her father made a sound of annoyance at her mother's order. While unbuckling her seatbelt, she looked through the car's window at Wilde Mansion's facade. With a grin she remembered how she had always compared the huge, old house to a fairy tale castle. She liked being here, liked the antique furniture inside and the air of grandeur that lingered in every corner of the house. Whenever Lynn strolled through its corridors, she felt like a queen.

Of course, she now deemed herself too old to play queen and her invisible entourage of loyal courtiers anymore. She was ten, almost an adult! That's what she thought at least. Nonetheless, as she got up, she felt the same excitement bubbling up inside her which she had felt in the years before.

Getting out of the car she couldn't help but grin even wider. 

"Damn it, Clara. How many presents did you buy for just two people?", she heard her father exclaim as she walked up to the entrance. Lynn turned her head to see her father struggling with a huge bag packed to the brim with neatly wrapped presents. She snorted in amusement which promptly earned her a glare from her father. He opened his mouth, undoubtedly in an effort to tell his daughter what he thought of her behaviour, but was prevented from doing so when his wife cut in.

"Two people I haven't seen in what feels like ages and don't forget that I had to buy one more present this year!"

Howard Parker grunted and muttered something under his breath that, Lynn guessed, her mother wouldn't have appreciated if it had been said aloud. Meanwhile, Clara Parker had pressed the doorbell. A few moments of silence passed before the huge wooden door was practically teared open by a beaming Mister Wilde.

„Howard, Clara and my little Lynn!" The man had bent down a bit to ruffle the girl's hair before he stepped aside to let the family in.

"It's such a joy to see you. We've been waiting since morning for your arrival. Anne's in the parlour!", Henry Wilde babbled on as he let the Parkers inside.

It was in this moment that Lynn glanced at the marble staircase that led to the first and second floor of the house only to find a stranger standing on the third step.

Taken aback, Lynn stared at the unfamiliar red- haired boy whose glasses were way too huge for his pale, gaunt and freckled face. The boy himself eyed her cautiously for only a matter of seconds. Then he shyly turned away and ran up the stairs until he was out of eyeshot.

Lynn blinked in confusion. She heard Henry Wilde groan and turned her head to look at him.

"I'm sorry. Xander knew that we would have guests today, but he is quite shy and still needs time to get used to his new life! Which is understandable given his upbringing, but I would have liked him to at least say hello!", he said, sounding embarrassed.

Lynn's mother smiled sympathetically.

"He'll come around, Henry. He's just a little, confused boy. Give him some space! I'm sure he'll come down in a few moments. Especially now that Lynn's here. She's ten, like him. The two of them could play together! Lynn would be happy to do so, wouldn't you?", she said confidently.

Lynn opened her mouth, ready to object. First of all, she didn't want to play with boys. They were stupid and mean. Secondly, she didn't want to spend time with this... intruder. What was he doing here anyways? Who was he?

"But I-", she began, only to find herself interrupted by the arrival of the lady of the house who looked as gorgeous as ever. Dressed in a blue, undoubtedly expensive gown Anne Wilde stretched her hands out in a welcoming gesture and glided towards them.

"Oh my dearest friends. It's so good to see you. Where's Xander?", Anne said in that kind, low voice of hers while turning to her husband.

"Upstairs. He fled when they arrived!", Henry answered his wife, still sounding abashed.

"Ah, my poor son. You must forgive him. He's been here for only a month and still adjusting and-"

"It's alright, really!", Lynn's father cut in.

"You don't need to apologize. Henry already did that, unnecessarily, might I add."

Son... Lynn shook her head in slight irritation. That red haired Freckle face was... their son?

Having read the look on her face as pure jealousy, Anne suddenly addressed her in a soothing voice.

"Oh, love. Don't think that we stopped loving you. We'll always be there for our little princess, but Xander is our adoptive son. Our own child. I'm sure the both of you will get along splendidly. He's such a sweet, gentle boy!"

Lynn suppressed the urge to scoff. She couldn't care less if that intruder was gentle or a buffoon. Suddenly, she didn't feel comfortable in the queen's castle anymore. Now that a king inhabited it, it felt... hostile. A part of her mind wanted to reason with her, wanted to tell her that her thoughts were childish and inappropriate for someone who saw herself as almost grown up. But the other part was all too happy with sulking over the fact that there now was someone who stole Anne's affection for her.

*

The intruder came when dinner was served. Silently he sat at the far end of the table and ate without looking at the other people present.

Lynn glared at him. She had tried talking with him to show Anne that she wasn't jealous of the boy, but had been met with nothing but silence and a rapidly blushing face.

She clicked her tongue in annoyance.

How could he be so impolite?

What was the matter with this boy? Why was he so arrogant that he deemed her, her family and his own not worthy talking to him?

"Stop staring at Xander!", her mother whispered in her ear, taking her hand and squeezing it warningly.

"Can't you see that you make him uncomfortable?"

"It's his own fault!", Lynn said, looking at her mother and not bothering to keep her voice low.

"I'm polite. I said hello to him, and he didn't even respond. He's the one who behaves like an idiot! He's arrogant, and I don't like him one bit, Ma. So don't say I would be happy to play with him ever again!"

At the far end of the table a fork fell onto expensive china with a loud clinking sound. Lynn turned her head just in time to see Xander stand up. His lips were trembling, and the green eyes behind his glasses suddenly seemed awfully watery.

"I'm sorry, mother, father... but I can't... I...", his voice broke as he practically fled from the dining room.

"Now look what you've done!"

Lynn's mother was livid.

"The poor boy!"

The girl grit her teeth. It wasn't her fault that Xander was such a sensitive plant. She had just spoken the truth. What was wrong with speaking the truth all of a sudden?

"Clara, it's okay. Please, calm down. I'm sure Lynn didn't want to hurt his feelings. Henry, could you go upstairs and look after him? I think he needs his father now!"

Henry nodded, stood from his chair and went out of sight.

"Princess?"

Lynn looked at Anne expectantly, feeling relieved that the woman had defended her despite having had any reason to scold her for making her son run away.

"I didn't think I would have to tell you, but seeing what just happened, you need to know something about my son, sweetheart!"

The woman drew a deep breath, and Lynn's mother closed her eyes, her expression pained, as if she already knew what Anne wanted to tell her.

"Xander is not an ordinary child, my darling. He's never had a lovely childhood up until now. A member of his family abused him and in the end tried to kill him. His uncle made sure that he got away before it was too late! He's been living in a constant fear for his life and it's only now that he is able to relax and allow himself some peace. I don't ask you to be his best friend, petal, but I beg you to be patient with him. Be kind and understanding, princess. He needs and deserves all the love in the world!"

Lynn looked at her hands that lay limply in her lap and felt the tears prick in her eyes. All at once she felt truly horrible. Xander had been overwhelmed by the appearance of total strangers, not knowing whether he could trust them or not and she had had nothing better to do than calling him an idiot. How stupid! She had to do something. Had to do good.

"Where's his room? I want to apologise and then we'll both come down and continue with our Christmas dinner.", she said in a small voice.

"On the first floor. It's the fourth room on the left."

*

She met Henry on the stairs.

"He doesn't want me to come in, but good luck to you!", the man said commiseratingly while descending downstairs.

Lynn exhaled, trembling a bit. The remorse burned in her stomach like a sea of lava as she stood in front of his room. Hesitantly she knocked and waited.

"I'm sorry, father, but I just want to be alone!"

His voice was muffled. Had he buried his head in his pillows?

"I'm not your father!", Lynn said, more boldly than she had anticipated.

For a moment there was nothing but silence.

Then she heard his slightly trembling voice again.

"Go away!"

Lynn pursed her lips. Nope, she hadn't come here to admit defeat.

"I'm coming inside!"

"What? No, I didn't allow you to-"

He stared wide-eyed at her as she entered his room. His glasses were askew, his hair looked like he had violently gripped it and with a pang of guilt she saw that he had indeed cried.

"Ahm... I..."

She looked away, not wanting him to feel even more embarrassed.

"I wanted to apologise, you know? What I did was unfair, Xander. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! I'm sorry!"

Now she had to look in his eyes. Had to look at him to stress the truth in her words. She meant it. She was sorry, and he had to see that.

He was still staring wordlessly at her, and Lynn began to get nervous. Shifting from one foot to another she tried again.

"I'm really, really sorry, Xander. And to be honest, I would love to play with you. Look, I've brought this game of cards with me. We could..."

"Alright!"

His voice cut through her rambling speech. Xander rose from his bed and was now busy wiping his tears away.

"Lynn, was it?", he asked.

"Yes."

He readjusted his glasses, gulped and closed his eyes for a moment. Then he looked at her as if he hadn't just spent minutes crying his eyes out.

"I'll come with you, Lynn. Under one condition!", he said in a somewhat low and raspy voice.

She blinked, perplexed by his sudden change of demeanour and the odd gleam in his green eyes.

"Uhm... yeah?"

"We'll play one of my games!"

We'll play one of my games... And thus began Lynn Parker's downfall.


	2. Chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you'll have fun reading this chapter. ;)

Chapter II

His game turned out to be hide and seek in the basement of the Wilde's mansion. Lynn would have been annoyed by his boring choice of a game if it hadn't been so dark there. She could hardly see a thing. How was she supposed to find Xander when she was currently busy with not tripping over her own feet? Lynn gulped heavily. She didn't know where the other light switches were, she had never felt the urge to see this place, but one thing was for sure: If she went on, she would soon be engulfed in complete darkness for the light from the lightbulb that hang above the foot of the stairs was too pale to light the rest of the way. The girl felt fear creeping up in her heart and all of a sudden her fantasy went haywire. Was that a tall, menacing shadow standing at the corner, staring at her with gleaming red eyes?

She backed away until she was standing directly underneath the lightbulb. The only safe place in this maze of darkness. Lynn felt numb, her heart was beating so rapidly, she was afraid it might break right through her chest.

"Xander?", she asked in a shaky voice.

"Where are you?"

She was met with absolute silence.

Lynn balled her hands into fists. She had promised to play his game and after having made such a fuss she somehow owed him to find him. But how could she if that damn shadow was still staring at her?

Come on. Don't be such a wimp. It's just your imagination. You are a big girl, not a toddler. Fear is for toddlers!

Inwardly berating herself she took a step forward, followed by another one. Lynn squeezed her eyes shut as she passed the corner with the shadowy figure.

There's no one there. There's no one there. There's no one there.

Something touched her hand. Screaming in panic Lynn opened her eyes, thus realising that the light had gone out.

In an instant she felt sick to the core. Breathing heavily the girl stood rooted to the spot. Not able to move anymore.

Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she stared into absolute, hostile darkness.

"Mum..."

The voice that came out of her throat was but a ridiculous squeak.

"Mum, please..."

There was no use. Her voice had uttered one blasted scream and now it had decided that it had done its duty.

Judging from the silence around her no one had even heard her scream. Where was Xander? Had he gone so far into the basement that he hadn't heard her, too?

Again it felt like something touched her and Lynn was ready to faint.

She tried again to draw attention, but her voice was still too quiet, too scratchy to be heard from afar.

"Xander?"

"Where are you?", she sobbed, trembling like a leaf caught in a strong wind.

"I don't wanna play anymore... I wanna go home! Xander, please!"

He didn't come and caught up in her panic as she currently was Lynn was profoundly convinced that the shadow figure had already taken him somewhere she couldn't reach him.

Feeling utterly forsaken the girl broke down, and sank to the floor, sobbing. Eyes again shut tightly because the darkness behind her lids wasn't nearly as horrible as the one that surrounded her. For the latter harboured a monster that had already gripped for her with its long, skeletal fingers.

And then, suddenly, light shone through her lids. Afraid that her imagination had played a trick on her and it was indeed still dark outside she hesitantly opened her eyes, only to find that the light had been switched on again.

In front of her sat Xander, green eyes filled with worry.

"Are you alright?", he asked.

The relief washing over her was enough to make her act on instinct. She threw her arms around the boy's slender frame.

Hysterically crying and gasping for air she buried her face in the crook of his neck, not noticing how the boy's body went completely stiff.

"Don't leave me alone again!"

Xander pushed her away gently.

"What happened?", he asked, concern lacing his voice.

"Something touched me!", she panted, eyes still wide with fear.

"Xander, something's in here and I thought you were gone! I thought it had caught you!"

Xander raised his brows and blinked. Then his expression changed from confused to amused. Lynn, only just able to feel something other than fear again opened her mouth to sorely ask him why he found the sudden need to make fun of her concerns as he raised his hand. When he drew it back he held a couple of cobwebs in his fist.

"I think I've found the culprit!", he spoke softly, green eyes twinkling with gentleness.

Lynn stared at the cobwebs in his hand and felt herself rapidly blushing of shame.

Oh god, she had behaved like a baby. Crying and searching comfort in the arms of a boy the same age as hers. How utterly embarrassing... to lose her face in front of a mere boy...

"I... I...", she stuttered, not knowing how to explain that she normally kept her cool so he wouldn't think of her as a toddler.

"It's alright, Lynn. Most people are afraid of the darkness. You shouldn't think too much about it.", he said softly, sounding awfully like an adult which didn't exactly help to make her feel any better about her gaffe.

Xander stood up, reached out to her and Lynn sheepishly grasped his hand.

"I'm glad I came back soon enough!", he added sternly.

"You could have had a panic attack! I'm sorry I made you come here, Lynn. If I had known that you were afraid of the dark, I would have suggested going to the gardens. I'm so sorry, I didn't think about it."

Lynn didn't respond. She was far too embarrassed to say something.

"Lynn?"

She looked at him and the look in his eyes was enough to shift her attention from feeling sorry for herself to his own inner turmoils.

"Why do you look so sad?", she asked quietly.

"Because I wanted us to have fun, but all I did was make you cry. That was never my intention, Lynn. Please, can you forgive me?"

He spoke as if he had deeply wronged her. Lynn couldn't help but wonder if his past childhood experiences had prevented him from making any friends. Not one of her friends back home would have begged her for forgiveness because of a game gone a tad too wrong.

"Of course. I mean, nothing happened and so there's nothing to forgive.", she responded, chuckling awkwardly. The obvious relief in his pale face cemented her thoughts about him.

"Thank you!", he breathed.

He went ahead, up the stairs, and Lynn shook her head in bewilderment.

*

The Christmas holidays went by without another unfortunate incident. Seemingly too shy to ask her to participate in one of his other games, Xander spend his time playing Lynn's game of cards with her or walked with her through the gardens.

When the day of the Parker's departure came, he stood in front of the front door, bidding the young girl adieu.

"When will you come back?", he asked, trying too hard to sound indifferently instead of hopefully.

A bit abashed she looked at him. Xander had proven to be not as annoying as she had initially thought he would be, but she still hadn't warmed up to him as he had warmed up to her. His fields of interest only bored her for they were mainly architecture and science. The construction of the Taj Mahal was something that just couldn't draw her attention. Combined with his intelligence his hobbies resulted in an aloofness that irked her. Around him she constantly felt like he was in another world.

Still, she didn't want him to get sad or worse feel rejected and so she disguised her lack of anticipation with a bright smile.

"We usually visit once a month!"

"Oh..."

He sounded disappointed.

"Look Xander, that month will soon be over and then you can tell me all about that... what was it's name again..."

"The Bauhausstile", he said softly, a strained smile tugging at his full lips. Lynn winced. Her blatant disrespect for his interests had hurt him. That much was clear.

"Yeah!", she said, trying to sound cheerful and failing horribly.

The honk of her father's car horn interrupted the almost painful silence that had begun to stretch between them.

"Sorry, Xander. I have to go!"

She waved goodbye while walking up to the car.

"I'll see you in a month!", he sighed unhappily and held up his hand in a parting gesture.

"What took you so long?", her father asked as she got into the car.

"Xander wanted to know when we would visit again. He seemed a bit sad, so I tried to cheer him up. Didn't really work, though.", she answered truthfully.

"I can imagine.", her mother piped up.

"Because of his past he tries to avoid most social contact. Anne says that he's afraid one would come after him if he lets other people into his life. It's such a depressing thought: Not allowing oneself to have many friends just because they might prove to be a threat to one's life. Lynn, you'll try and be his friend, you hear me, young miss? And you will keep silent about him whenever you are with your friends! The poor boy is risking too much already by wanting to spend time with you."

Lynn didn't respond. She just nodded while trying to imagine leading a life like Xander's. Huh, she would cry her eyes out if the only company she had would be her parents. Not that she didn't like them, she loved them dearly, but they were adults and most of the time they didn't really understand her. She needed her friends. They were the most important people in her little world apart from her parents. Just the thought of having to cut off her ties with Sarah or Harriet was enough to make her choke.

No wonder Xander wanted a friend so badly that he had taken the first, low-risk chance that presented itself.

Lynn closed her eyes. It was time to warm up to him on their next meeting. Even such an odd child deserved a friend he could rely on.


	3. Chapter III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you still enjoy reading this little fanfic of mine.
> 
> Have fun with chapter number three.

Chapter III

The next time she saw him his face was still pale, but he had gained a bit of weight so that it didn't appear as gaunt as it had before. No doubt the result of the Wilde's cook, Misses Peters. Xander pushed his glasses up his nose as he made his way down the stairs to greet Lynn and her parents.

"I hope you had a pleasant journey.", he said, looking at her expectantly.

Lynn pulled a face.

"Not very much. It was downright boring. I forgot my book at home and staring out of a car window while it's raining and the sky's grey isn't really interesting.", she answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Then I'll be happy to relieve your boredom. I got something that I need to show you. I would like to hear your opinion.", Xander said, the barely suppressed anticipation causing his voice to become slightly higher than it normally was.

"After lunch, that is.", he added as he caught the stern glance of his adoptive mother who'd just come to welcome her guests.

Anne led them into the dining room and just like a month before they sat down to eat.

"Where's Henry?", Lynn asked curiously since Anne's husband hadn't been there to greet them.

"He's at work. That darn project of his is causing trouble again and now he's forced to work extra hours. He won't come home for the weekend.", Anne answered her, sounding irritated. Lynn was quite sure that they'd yet again had an argument about his working hours prior to their arrival. Henry was an architect and quite known for his buildings. If Lynn remembered correctly his newest project was all about building a huge, modern mall in Manhattan. However, his love for his work had resulted in dedicating much of his time to it, which consequently irked his wife.

"Father's project is in fact quite interesting. I would be working extra hours too to finally see it progress towards its completion.", Xander chipped in, obviously oblivious to his foster mother's mindset about the matter.

"Judging from your enthusiasm, you want to follow in your father's footsteps?", Lynn's father asked the boy interestedly.

"I wouldn't exclude the possibility, Sir, but I've recently found myself drawn to the field of electrical engineering.", he responded quietly. "As it is we are waisting too much of our resources to produce energy. There have to be other ways to generate..."

Lynn stifled a yawn and stopped listening to Xander's ramblings. Once again she was alienated by the way he spoke and the topics he deemed interesting. The boys in her class talked about the latest baseball matches, video games and famous bands which was kind of boring too, but not as disconcerting as Xander's hobbies.

Lynn bit her lower lip. Whenever he spoke, he made her feel dull and that was something she just didn't want to be.

*

After lunch she disgruntedly followed him up the stairs to his room. The first time she'd stepped inside his bedroom she hadn't paid much attention to it and since they hadn't spent the Christmas holidays here, it was only now that Lynn could let her eyes roam over his place. It was almost like a mirror of his character traits. His bed was neatly made, the floor was clean of any worn clothes. There were no toy cars, no stuffed animals, hell, he didn't even own a games console.

In one of the corners, however, stood a massive book shelf, packed to the top with hard and soft covers. Most of the books non-fictional. Next to the book shelf she spotted a hi-fi system on a dresser and a few CDs, sorted into a CD rack. Maybe they could at least listen to some music.

Xander cleared his throat impatiently and Lynn turned around. He was standing next to his study desk on which a huge sheet of paper lay.

"Come and take a look."

Lynn approached the study desk and took a look at the sheet of paper that seemed to mean so much to him that his eyes were practically gleaming with pride.

She frowned as she saw what appeared to be the very complex construction drawing of a maze.

Lynn looked at him questioningly.

"A maze?"

"Yes, it took me a week to complete it the way I imagined."

A week...

Why would he feel the need to spend days on constructing a maze? It was downright creepy!

She didn't want to tell him, but his drawing freaked her out.

„That's very... complex.", Lynn said hesitatingly, not knowing what he wanted to hear.

"Thank you, Lynn. I think it's my best one so far.", he said.

"You've drawn others?", she exclaimed, taken aback by this new odd hobby of his.

"Yes. They are designed to keep people away from me. People that might harm me."

He'd started speaking with a moderate tone of voice, but upon realising how intimate the information had unwillingly become, his voice had died down, resulting in nothing, but a sad, helpless whisper.

She could have kicked herself as it suddenly all fell into place. Of course Xander had to somehow cope with what had happened to him, and constructing these mazes obviously served as some kind of therapy. And she had been freaked out by it. Ridiculous!

"Believe me. If that one was real no one would ever get out again.", Lynn said, trying to compliment him on his work, and missing the sinister, victorious smile on his lips that was gone in an instant.

"Let's hope I will never be in the predicament to need a maze."

Xander added a little chuckle, but Lynn thought she could tell that it wasn't just a joke to him. To her it seemed that he really hoped not being forced to build such a death trap.

"Still, it's an impressive work!", she said. Creepy as it was, it was true.

"Thank you."

"So... ahm... would you mind listening to some music now?"

Xander cocked his head.

"You don't want to see the others? See the progress I made?", he asked, looking crestfallen.

Remember, you are the only social contact in his life. Don't make him feel unwelcome...

The voice inside her head sounded awfully like her mother's. Lynn cracked a smile.

"Of course I would like to see them, Xander."

*

"What do you want to hear?"

He held up a couple of CDs from the rack.

Lynn came towards him and looked at his choice. Most seemed to be old stuff she'd never heard of, so she picked the only option that didn't scream boring at her face: A collection of some of last year's most famous singers.

"Let's try this one."

Xander nodded, although he looked a bit unconvinced as to whether he would like her choice.

"Mother gave me this CD. I don't know what's on it.", he admitted while he was inserting the CD into the player.

A few moments later the first tunes of one of Lynn's favourite songs filled the room, and the girl smiled happily. She sat down on Xander's neatly made bed and motioned to the boy to come and do the same. Shyly and as stiff as a board the boy came closer and took up position close to the headboard of his bed, keeping a certain distance to Lynn.

"Hey, I don't bite.", the girl said.

"You don't have to sit that far away from me."

She saw him gulp and, if possible, become even paler.

"I just don't want to invade your personal space, Lynn. Far be it from me to make you feel uncomfortable.", he said bashfully.

Lynn chuckled. Sometimes his shyness was kind of sweet.

"Ah, come on, Xander. You don't make me feel uncomfortable. We're friends, and friends can sit next to each other.", she encouraged him and stressed her words by patting the bedspread to the left of her thigh.

Xander had watched her closely, before he finally made his decision and came nearer.

"Do you know this band?", she asked, no sooner than he had sat down next to her.

He shook his head.

"Most modern music bores me. I'm quite fond of classical music.", he said, instantly blushing and not daring to look at her. Apparently he feared her reaction to his statement.

Lynn felt sad for him. Here he was, obviously afraid of how she would judge his hobbies, and yet he still spoke about them just because he didn't want to appear seclusive in front of the only person his age that currently kept him company.

The voice inside her head piped up again.

Warm up to his hobbies, tolerate what he likes and don't make fun of it. He needs reassurance, not scorn from his only social contact.

"Xander?"

"Huh?"

"You don't need to be embarrassed about your favourite music or any other hobby of yours. I like some pieces of Mozart, too, you know?"

A smile lit up his face at her words, and Lynn found that he looked nice when he smiled.

*

He began to send letters during the time they couldn't see each other in which he wrote about his daily activities, St. Ignatius (which was the school he went to) and any scientific news he deemed interesting enough to share.

Most of the time Lynn didn't know how to respond properly, and so she often opted for telling him that what he'd shared with her was fascinating, interesting or absolutely impressive.

She felt bad for being more than often confused by what he wrote about and even worse for having to feign interest. When it came to knowledge, he was lightyears ahead of her. A fact that still hurt whenever it became obvious. She just hoped that one day she could come close enough to his level of knowledge, so that she didn't have to ask her parents anymore what Bremsstrahlung or a Cyclic Redundancy Checksum was.

Tolerate what he likes...

It wasn't that easy when you didn't even understand what he liked.

Still, she kept in touch with him and even though they were vastly different from each other, she truly wanted to make their friendship work.

She'd started to like him. Despite his blatant otherness he was a nice, compassionate boy whose company was comforting. She liked his shyness, the way he blushed when he felt embarrassed, the way his eyes sparkled when he had to tell her something interesting. She liked how he treated her. Other boys his age didn't like girls. They wouldn't even want to play with them. They were mean, rude and some behaved like a rowdy. Xander didn't mind that she was a girl. He was happy that she was in his life, and that made her feel appreciated for who she was.


	4. Chapter IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter I've decided on a small time skip. I hope you'll have fun reading it. :)

Chapter IV

Two and a half years later

The smell of cotton candy and popcorn wafted through the air accompanied by the sound of a barrel organ that played some merry tunes. Lynn took a huge bite out of her candy apple while her best friend since pre-school, Sarah Jenkins, was busy stuffing her mouth with a hot dog.

"We've got twenty more minutes until the show starts. Do you want to take a ride on the flying swing to pass some time?", Sarah's mother asked the two girls with a look at her wristwatch.

"That's for babies, mum. Do we look like babies to you?", Sarah retorted a bit annoyed.

Her mother raised her brows.

"When I was your age, I still had fun on the flying swing.", she stated.

"When you were my age Einstein was still alive.", her daughter teased, earning a glare from her mother.

"We could go to the raffle ticket booth and try our luck.", Lynn proposed.

"That's a good idea. Maybe I'll win that giant stuffed tiger."

Misses Jenkins rolled her eyes.

"I hope not, but I'm fine with coming with you.", she said.

They sauntered off to the booth. Lynn savoured the atmosphere. Her mother didn't like clowns and much less caged animals, so the only time Lynn had visited a circus had been with her granny.

Seven year old Lynn had been so fascinated by the artists that flew through the air as if there was no such thing as gravity that she had wanted to be one too.

Now, nearly 5 years later and after having found out that she was afraid of heights being an artist wasn't her desired career anymore, but she still liked watching them.

Initially, Sarah and Lynn had planned to have a simple sleepover, but when Sarah's mom came home with tickets for the circus they had been all too happy to change their plan of watching High School Musical 1 and 2 before going to bed.

"A blank again!"

Sarah's irritated voice distracted her from her thoughts and Lynn suddenly remembered that she still held some raffle tickets in her hand. She unfolded the first one. A blank as she had inwardly predicted. The second however turned out to be worth something. The teenager giggled as she pictured herself with one of the hideous consolation prizes that you normally got if you weren't lucky enough to win the first prize.

She was about to unfold the next ticket when Misses Jenkins suddenly spoke up:

"Alright girls, let's wrap it up. We should go back to the tent. The show will start in a few minutes."

"That was amazing.", Sarah exclaimed as they exited the tent.

"It was. I liked the snake dancer. It was fascinating to watch her."

Sarah screwed up her face.

"You liked her? I found her pretty scary. I mean, who on earth would like to work with such a dangerous animal?"

"Says the same girl who found that the lions looked cute."

"Okay, okay. Point taken."

They giggled as they went on towards the parking lot.

On their way they passed some of the trailers where the artists lived. For a split second she saw the back of a redhaired person retreating inside a silver-fronted trailer. His hair colour reminded her of Xander's rich red hair, and for a moment she wondered what the lonely boy might be doing right now.

One weekend later said lonely boy and Lynn sat outside on the Wilde's back porch, slouching on garden chairs while sipping cold coke and enjoying the warmth of the summer afternoon.

Well, at least Lynn seemed to enjoy it. Xander, on the other hand, looked like he was lost in rather gloomy thoughts if the melancholy expression on his face was any indication for it.

Lynn watched him staring into the void for a good five minutes and decided that it was about time he snatched out of it.

"So... how's school?", Lynn said.

"I wouldn't know.", he said, a bit puzzled by the sudden start of the conversation. "I spent the past month at home."

"What?" Lynn frowned. St. Ignatius was a boarding school and although Xander spent most of his weekends with his family it was still his main residence for the remainder of the week. What had happened to him that he hadn't gone to school for a month?

"Were you ill? Did you get in trouble with a classmate? You didn't mention something like that in your letters."

He chewed on his bottom lip for a few moments.

"I had a nasty cold, and I'm still a bit weak. The doctor thought it would be best if I stayed home.", he then answered darkly.

"Ugh, I just hope you aren't contagious anymore. I wouldn't want to spend a month in bed.", Lynn teased.

He rolled his eyes.

After a few moments of silence between the two of them, Xander seemed to get lost in his thoughts again, so Lynn tried to keep the conversation running.

"So last weekend I went to the circus and-"

"What circus?", Xander interrupted hotly, staring at her in a way Lynn could only describe as menacing.

Taken aback by his sudden change of demeanour, she didn't answer his question right away which prompted him to practically hiss at her.

"I asked you a question. What circus did you visit?"

"H-Haly's.", she stuttered dumbfounded.

"Did you talk to anyone there? Did you talk about me?", he all but growled and jumped from his chair.

"What? Why should I have talked to anyone there? Stop looking at me like this. It isn't funny.", Lynn exclaimed, appalled by his behaviour.

In an instant his eyes flashed with barely contained rage. He began to grit his teeth and balled his hands to fists, so tightly that she could see the white of his knuckles shimmer through his skin. Xander looked ready to attack and seriously hurt her, and for a moment she contemplated running inside the house to hide from him. Xander scared the shit out of her.

Then his shoulders sagged, and he hung his head in defeat.

"I'm sorry. I lost control. I see I scared you. It wasn't my intention, though. I would never scare much less hurt you on purpose, Lynn. You are dear to me, and I won't ever harm what's dear to me.", Xander sighed, sounding pretty much ashamed of himself.

Lynn didn't respond. She was still much too shocked to react and so the girl just kept staring at him.

Meanwhile, Xander drew a deep breath, looking as if he'd just made a momentous decision.

"There's a reason why I reacted like I did, Lynn.", he began to talk again.

"Maybe you'll understand why once I've finished telling you about my childhood.", he began, his voice a bit shaky.

Lynn sat up in her chair, listening intently to his words.

"I trust you, Lynn. I trust you that you didn't talk to anyone at the circus. I really do, but nonetheless I must insist that you never visit this place again and never tell another person about the things I'm about to tell you. My life might one day depend on your discretion.", he said, his tone of voice even more serious than usual. She reassured him quietly that he could count on her, even though his last sentence made her skin crawl and left her with conflicting thoughts.

For one thing she felt a bit proud that he wanted to share his past experiences with her of his own accord, but for another thing she also felt quite pressurised.

My life might one day depend on your discretion. That was a bit much, wasn't it? Especially for a teenager.

She was distracted from her internal battle as he continued.

"Before Anne and Henry adopted me, I had grown up in this circus and-"

"Wow! Really?", she interrupted him without thinking while her mind's eye was receiving pictures of clowns, artists, cotton candy, exotic animals and red and white striped tents. As she saw him glaring at her, however, she winced, recognising shamefacedly that to him this style of life hadn't exactly felt magnificent. Otherwise, he would still be at the circus.

"Sorry, I didn't want to be rude. Please, go on.", she said in a small voice.

Xander sighed and for a moment Lynn was convinced that he had yet decided against telling her about his former life. Surely, to him her comment must have sounded like she didn't take the matter seriously enough. She lowered her head in shame.

But then Xander cleared his throat and went on, thus dispelling her worries.

"My mother was a kind and loving person, but my twin brother was born evil. From an early age on, he tried to make my life a living hell whenever he wasn't busy mutilating alley cats. It started with insults or with his taking away or breaking my glasses for fun. The moment he found out he was stronger than me physical attacks were next. He was good at manipulating people, so for a while neither my mother nor my uncle noticed that something was wrong with him. That, however, changed on my tenth birthday when he held a cake knife to my throat in front of my mother. A week later he tried to set my bed on fire. While I was sleeping in it."

"Oh my god!"

She stared at him wide-eyed, having a hard time to process the grisly information.

"Your own brother tried to kill you?", she croaked in disbelief. With a shudder she remembered the red haired person that had entered one of the trailers. Had that been him? Xander's twin brother?

The boy's voice broke when he answered her and his eyes shone with unshed tears.

"Yes. My uncle decided that there was only one way to save my life. I had to leave. He took me away one night, explained that I would continue my education at St. Ignatius and that he would try and find me another family who could keep me safe. I spent the night crying my eyes out. I felt so lost, so miserable. I knew I would never see my mother again if I wanted to stay alive. It hurt so much to leave her behind."

By now he'd really begun to cry, and Lynn could only think of one way to show him compassion and understanding: She got up from her chair, went up to him and hugged him tightly.

For a moment he was silent. Then Xander pulled away, took off his glasses and wiped the tears off his face with the sleeve of his pullover. He sniffled miserably before he continued to speak.

"The circus is a travelling show which means that it comes back to Gotham from time to time. Chances are small that my brother comes near St. Ignatius' walls, but I still don't want to risk being there while he is staying in the same city. That's the real reason why I'm currently studying at home. I'm sorry I lied to you about being ill, and I hope that you can forgive me for the way I treated you. I just had to be certain that you didn't endanger my life by talking to my brother because he looked like someone you know."

Lynn took his hand and stroked it soothingly.

"You had every right to be mad at me. And I can relate to your decision. If I were in your shoes, I would do the same. Oh, Xander, I'm so sorry you had to go through so much trouble!"

"Jeremiah."

"What?"

"Jeremiah. That's my true name."

"Jeremiah.", Lynn whispered. Now he'd even trusted her with his true identity. She should have felt honoured, but all his confession managed to do was to increase the pressure on her.

He had effectively just commended his life into her care. She felt downright crushed. One simple slip-up on her part and his life could be at stake. A slip-up like going to the circus again and running into his deranged, manipulative brother. Well, at least that scenario could be prevented from coming true...

She looked firmly into his green eyes.

"I promise you, Jeremiah: I'll never visit that circus again."

"Thank you, Lynn. You don't know what a relief it is to hear your decision."


	5. Chapter V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another time skip in here. I'm working to get them close to the actual events in the show without being too hasty.
> 
> Have fun reading Chapter V.

Chapter V

It would take her more than ten years to find out that he'd not only lied to her on that certain summer afternoon, but also ensured that she would live for years with the constant fear of somehow putting his life at risk if she wasn't careful enough around other people.

If she had known back then how manipulative Jeremiah Valeska could be, she would have ended their friendship right then and there. However, as matters stood, she was absolutely unaware of the lying, scheming mastermind that lay behind his pale forehead.

And so their bond began to tighten.

Six years after Jeremiah's confession, Lynn found herself once more in his bedroom. Currently slouching on his bed and staring at the ceiling, she was thinking hard on how to break a rather pressing matter to him.

She turned her head to study his face. He was sitting at his study desk, head bent low over a book on structural engineering. In the process his glasses had slid down his nose a bit.

Somewhere during the last six years he had lost the awkward appearance of a teenager and though he'd just turned 18 he looked much older. While some people would have related the impression he left behind to the way he groomed his hair, the way he dressed or even his black-framed glasses, Lynn knew better.

Jeremiah was a prodigy. He'd never been your ordinary teenager, and now at 18 years old he was mere steps away from graduating from university. While she still had no idea what to do after High School.

Lynn stifled a sigh. Time and time again she had come to the conclusion that even without a mad brother that apparently still wanted to kill him to worry about, Jeremiah would have had trouble finding friends. He continued to be unaware of the fact that his intelligence was intimidating. Just the thought of having to introduce him to her friends made the young woman wince. Not because she would be ashamed of him, no she just knew that he would feel very uncomfortable around people whose current aim was to have a good time before graduation rolled around.

Her friends weren't exactly a studious lot and they liked to frown upon people like Jeremiah that had actually achieved something prior to them.

All the worse that she now had to stand him up for one of her High School friends.

"Jeremiah?"

He looked up from the huge book on his study desk and turned his head towards her, watching her expectantly.

"I won't be able to come over next month.", she said almost in a whisper. 

He cleared his throat, apparently trying to buy time to suppress the disappointment that was surely threatening to drip into his voice.

"You promised you would come.", he remembered her quietly.

Lynn felt a pang of guilt.

She had indeed promised to accompany him to the theatre in Metropolis. It was one of the rare hobbies he engaged in outside university or his foster parents' home.

"I know, but something came up and-"

"and now you're breaking said promise.", he interrupted her softly.

"I'm really sorry, but Ben's moving away and we all agreed to throw him the party he deserves. That date is the only one where he'll be able to meet with us."

She didn't like how weak her justification sounded. Ben had been one of her closest friends for the past five years. His moving away to another country of all things should have been reason enough to justify the need for a farewell party.

So why did she feel like she had just kicked Jeremiah in the stomach?

"I hope you'll enjoy the evening.", he said almost tonelessly, without even looking at her.

Lynn got off the bed and sat down on the chair next to his.

"We'll do something nice next time.", she asssured him softly while touching his hand.

Jeremiah didn't react at all. He had returned his attention to his book.

"Jeremiah?", she tried again. "I'll make it up to you. I swear."

"Don't overwork yourself. Far be it from me to ask for some of your precious time.", he finally said, but his tone of voice was indifferent. As if he had decided that he didn't care whether she would actually try to cheer him up next time or not.

Lynn let go of his hand abruptly.

"Now you are just being unfair.", she retorted. She could understand that he was disappointed, but did he have to be so cynical?

She saw him bite his lower lip while he still refused to look at her.

A few seconds passed, then he let out a sigh and inclined his head ever so slightly.

"I don't want to be rude, Lynn, but I need to finish this project. Look, we will reschedule, but for now I need silence and solitude!"

Lynn blinked.

Did he actually mean it?

"Wow... You don't get what you want and now you're throwing me out? Really, Jeremiah?", she asked baffled.

He raised his brows at her.

"You shouldn't read things into a simple request. You are welcome to return anytime you want, but for today I'll have to cut our meeting short. A renowned university like the one I want to graduate from has certain standards that its students have to meet and I can't risk my career by wasting my time."

For a moment Lynn was absolutely speechless. He'd never before been so dismissive. Shaking her head in disbelief, she stood up.

"Yeah, right!", the young woman practically hissed.

"I get the picture. You don't have to lie through your teeth, you know? You are in a sulk because what you imagined is not going according to your plan! You know what? I'll see you again when you've stopped being dramatic over one measly weekend!"

And with that she rushed off, oblivious to the way he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

God, she was mad at him, but still somewhere inside her head a small voice wanted to berate her for the way she herself had acted.

You are his only friend! Being stood-up like this hurt him.

*

He neither called her nor did he send a letter like he'd done every week for the past six years in the days that followed their argument. He didn't even contact her after Ben's party. Initially, Lynn had wanted to stay stubborn, but her guilty conscience began to gnaw at her. And so, one afternoon, after her parents had left to do the shopping, she found herself dialing the number he'd given her before he went to university for the umpteenth time.

He didn't pick up. Again...

Gritting her teeth, she stared at the phone in her hands. So he still wanted to give her the silent treatment?

That was fine with her!

She sure wouldn't beg for his attention anymore.

Fed up with the way he treated her, she decided to call Sarah.

*

Sarah wasn't alone when Lynn entered the Jenkin's living room. Sitting next to her on the sofa was her brother, Matt. Once a pesky kid he'd grown up to be quite the heartthrob with his curly, raven black hair and the delicately chiselled features. Lynn had had a secret crush on him since last year. So secret in fact, that even Sarah didn't know about her best friend's feelings for her slightly older brother.

She hadn't found the courage to tell her yet, much less Matt whose behaviour towards her she just couldn't pin down. Sometimes he treated her like she was another sister, sometimes he made compliments that didn't exactly spell out Friendzone.

The young woman was distracted from her whirling thoughts by Sarah's voice.

"So, what or who succeeded in ruffling your feathers so much that you called me that peeved?"

Her best friend looked at her, arms akimbo.

"Doesn't matter.", Lynn huffed as she sat down on the sofa.

Sarah raised her brows, but knew better than to probe.

Matt had studied her face for a moment before he jokingly asked:

"Whose boy's nose do I have to break?"

Lynn blushed.

"No ones.", she muttered embarrassed.

"You sure? I can spot trouble in paradise from a distance.", he pressed on, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Then you aren't very good at it, Matt.", Sarah cackled amused.

"Lynn hasn't got a boyfriend, and I would know if she fancied someone. You know best friend's stuff and so on."

"Good news for all the lonely, male hearts out there then.", Matt joked while Lynn gave him a strained smile. What was that supposed to mean?

"Whatever, Matt. I'll go and prepare something to eat. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.", Sarah spoke cheerfully, leaving Lynn and Matt alone as she made her way to the kitchen.

For a while they sat in silence. Then his hand suddenly brushed hers and as she looked up at him quite startled, he was smiling shyly at her.

"Uhm... Look, Lynn, there's something important I've wanted to tell you...", he began to speak, but was interrupted by Sarah's return.

"Pizza's ready in fifteen minutes.", the young woman announced and gestured for the two of them to let her sit between them.

Lynn felt the spontaneous urge to just curl up and die.

That was not how she'd imagined her visit. She'd hoped to get some comfort, but sitting here, after Matt had unsuccessfully tried to tell her something important, she rather felt like suffocating. Which wasn't comforting at all, thank you very much.

*

When she returned home, feeling more confused than ever regarding Matt's feelings or maybe lack thereof for her, she almost didn't hear her mother calling her name.

A bit dazed she turned around. 

Her mother passed her the phone with a stern expression on her face.

"Xander called. Since you where nowhere to be found and didn't deem it necessary to leave a message as to where you had gone, I told him you'll call him back."

Lynn just nodded, ignoring the reproachful tone in her mother's voice.

Still, lost in her thoughts she dialed his number.

He picked up almost immediately.

"Hey.", she greeted him absent-mindedly.

"Uh, hey... Are you... alright?", Jeremiah asked, worry lacing his soft, slightly raspy voice.

"Yeah."

"Okay..." He didn't sound convinced.

"Really, I'm OK. You don't need to worry. I'm just a bit tired, 's all."

"In that case I'll make it quick. I called to apologize. It wasn't nice how I treated you, but I felt quite neglected. Sometimes I forget that you have other friends and don't really know how it feels to have only one person whom you can confide in. Especially if you only see said person once a month at the most. I didn't consider your point of view and thus became unfair. For that I beg your pardon."

"It's okay.", she said. Funny how one could be angry about a matter and then completely unfazed by it the moment some other issue became more important.

"Thank you. I wish you a good night. I'll call you tomorrow to discuss when we will see each other again."

Lynn agreed to his plan, wished him a good night and ended the call. Once again her thoughts revolved around Matt while Jeremiah had become nothing but a marginal note...


	6. Chapter VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is: Chapter VI. I hope you'll enjoy reading it. :)

Chapter VI

At first Jeremiah Valeska simply hadn't noticed the subtle changes in his best friend's body. He'd always been too focused on his school career and later his studies to become aware of the fact that Lynn had stopped being the ten- year- old girl he became friends with.

Which was why the dinner party his parents held to celebrate his graduation from university came as such a shock to him.

Whenever they met, she wore washed out jeans and oversized hoodies under whose hoods she liked to hide her long, light brown hair.

Now, though, seeing her dressed in an emerald green evening gown that hugged her body in all the right places made him suddenly very aware of the woman she had become.

He found it hard to breathe.

Had she always been so beautiful?

"Are you alright?", she asked as she sat next to him, bending forward a bit to pull her chair nearer to the table, and thus giving him a perfect view of her cleavage. His throat constricted, and his mind was flooded with an array of unwelcome thoughts...

"Jeremiah?"

"Yes,", he hastened to answer while his eyes landed on her lips. He promptly found himself trying very hard to stop thinking of how kissable her full lips looked. "I'm alright. I... I just... can't hold my liquor, I think.", he stuttered like an idiot. This lie for sure didn't go as smoothly as he'd intended. Jeremiah flinched.

"You had one glass of champagne.", Lynn remarked nonplussed and blinked.

How long her lashes were... These big Bambi eyes.

Jeremiah shuddered and felt himself blushing instantly. Fortunately, he was spared an answer since dinner was served.

Dinner didn't give him the peace he'd hoped for, though. It rather felt like he was swallowing rocks instead of a perfectly done steak. Sitting so close to her did things to him he hadn't thought to be possible. He tried to avoid looking at her which wasn't exactly easy as she expected him to engage in her conversation about school. Even focusing on her eyes, what he thought was a safe option to save him from any embarrassment, proved to be almost painful, for he feared to get lost in the whiskey-brown that was sprinkled with golden flecks.

His inner turmoil didn't go unnoticed for his foster mother addressed him worriedly during dessert.

"Xander, dear. You look like you're about to be sick. Do you need to lie down a bit?"

Grateful for the excuse to flee from Lynn's suffocating presence, he stood up abruptly, knocking his chair over in the process.

"Indeed I do, mother. Don't worry, though. I think I'll be okay soon enough. This day was a bit energy-sapping." He bent down to pick up his chair.

"Do you want me to come with you?", Lynn piped up, rising from her seat, and bending down to help him. Looking up a bit, his eyes unintentionally landed on her snowy-white, full breasts again. Something stirred in his loins. Horrified Jeremiah tried to prevent what seemed to be almost inevitable.

"NO.", he practically yelled, making his parents wince with a start and the Parkers gasp.

"No.", he repeated more softly this time.

By now Jeremiah was sweating profusely, hoping beyond hope that he would make it out of this situation without losing his face in front of his foster and his best friend's parents.

"I wouldn't want you to see me sick over the toilet, Lynn. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. Now, if you are willing to excuse me, I'll return the moment I feel better. Don't let my absence spoil the festivities."

He turned on his heels and walked out of the dining room as fast as he could.

"Poor boy.", Jeremiah heard his foster mother sigh behind him.

"I'm sure it was that damn cake they served after the graduation ceremony. I should have told him not to eat so much of it."

He closed his eyes and wiped the sweat off his brows. Cake had nothing to do with his predicament.

Jeremiah stayed in his bedroom for the rest of the evening. He just wasn't ready to face Lynn again. What had happened? Why did his body find it necessary to react to her in the most unwelcome way he could think of? Why now, after years of friendship? He curled up in a fetal position and bit his lips. He had always liked Lynn. She was his best friend, the only person he could confide in. The only person he truly cared about, but he had never before felt the urge to kiss her ruby red lips or to bury his face in the crook of her neck just to inhale her scent.

These new thoughts made him sick, and he knew with the distinct feeling of utter dread that things had just started to become complicated. How was he supposed to behave inconspiciuously around her while he was busy fighting against his urges at the same time?

For god's sake, sex had never once been on his mind. He knew how it was done, having had the misfortune to walk in on his mother's bedroom one too many times as a child, but he had never felt the need for it. So how was it that just the thought of her made his penis twitch with anticipation?

He couldn't fathom what had happened in what felt like a matter of seconds. One moment his world had been okay, the next it had been turned upside-down. It was surreal, and he was struggling to process what had changed. God, he couldn't think straight, and that was something he absolutely hated, for he was nothing if his brain ceased to work the way it was supposed to!

He heard the door open and hastily closed his eyes, pretending to be fast asleep. As he inhaled, he could smell Lynn's perfume. His stomach dropped.

He heard her chuckle and the floor boards creak as she walked over to him.

"Fallen asleep with your glasses still on? You must have been really exhausted."

The mattress sank a bit under her weight as she sat down next to him and took his glasses off, placing them carefully on his nightstand.

"Sleep well, my little scholar. I'll see you in a month.", Jeremiah heard her whisper lovingly. Then she kissed his cheek, and he momentarily forgot how to breathe.

Lynn got up, walked towards the door and exited his room. Jeremiah drew a deep, albeit shuddering breath.

His heart felt ready to break through his ribcage as he got a sinking feeling...

*

"What a brilliant movie! God, I loved the hero. He was so sweet and handsome, and strong and..."

"... and you are infatuated with a fictional character.", Matt interrupted his sister with a grin.

Lynn chuckled.

"Says the boy who had been madly in love with Lara Croft when he was younger.", Sarah retorted teasingly.

"Anyways, I need to go to the bathroom. You two can go ahead. I'll meet you outside."

She turned on her heels and walked away.

Lynn snorted and went towards the staircase that led to the lower level.

On their way to the cinema's entrance Matt suddenly held her back.

Confused she turned to look at his face.

„"Is something wrong?", she asked a bit concerned. Her best friend's brother looked quite pale.

"I think we should talk.", he began all of a sudden.

Lynn stared at him, taken aback. She felt her heartbeat quicken.

"About what?", she wispered.

Matt raked his fingers through his hair.

"For months now I've tried to tell you, but I either ended up losing my courage or got interrupted. If I don't do this now, I might never get another chance, so please just hear me out."

He took a deep breath. Then he continued.

"Lynn, I... I think I've fallen in love with you and I just... just want to know what... uhm..."

He stopped, lost for words.

Lynn blinked. Then she did the only thing her addled brain had been able to suggest as a proper reaction to his words. She closed the space between them and kissed him.

"Finally!"

Startled they pulled away and turned their heads to stare at a beaming Sarah.

"You don't know how annoying it was to watch you two dancing around each other.", she said as she approached them.

"No snogging in the car, though. I don't want to vomit all over the steering wheel."

She wagged her finger at them.

Matt was the first to regain his composure.

"Alright, dearest sister. We'll make sure not to disgust you.", he laughed.

Lynn looked at her feet, sheepishly.

Her best friend had known all along? For how long?

God, how embarrassing!

*

"Soo, would you like to meet tomorrow at nine? We could have a pick nick in the park."

Matt looked at her expectantly, and Lynn couldn't help but smile. They stood in front of her house while Sarah was waiting for her brother in the car.

"Of course. I love the idea. I'll meet you at your place."

Matt sighed in relief.

He gingerly bent forward to kiss her once again and she all but melt into his hands. Damn, that man could kiss.

"Matt, come on. We are already late for supper, and you know how much mum values punctuality. You can snog her to death tomorrow."

Sarah urged her brother through the open car window.

Matt reluctantly pulled away.

"Tomorrow's so far away.", he pouted adoringly causing Lynn to giggle like a little schoolgirl.

Then he gave her one last, short kiss and turned towards Sarah's car.

"Sleep well, my princess.", he said, got into the passenger seat and waved goodbye.

Lynn saw Sarah roll her eyes in fake annoyance. Then her best friend started the engine and drove away.

Lynn shook her head in bewilderment.

Matt and her... It had finally come true.

Smiling brightly she opened the front door and stepped inside only to be greeted with the ashen faces of her parents.

Fear crept up her spine in an instant, extinguishing all thoughts of happiness.

"What happened?", she croaked, already dreading the answer.

Her mother was the first to answer.

"Anne called. It's Xander... He lost consciousness while taking a bath."

The words reached her ears, crawled into her mind and shattered her little, cheerful world with undreamt cruelty.

"No... please, Mum, please don't say that...that..."

She couldn't say what was on her mind. She couldn't say it. Saying it might have made it true. And it couldn't be. It just couldn't be. He couldn't be gone... Not him, not Jeremiah.

"They had to reanimate him. He's in the ICU."


	7. Chapter VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's chapter VII, too.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Chapter VII

Jeremiah had finally been able to get out of the ICU, so she didn't have to stare at his inert form through a glass screen anymore.

However, being close to him only stressed how broken he looked as he lay in the huge hospital bed, his face so pale that his hair appeared unnaturally red. It reminded her eerily of a clown's wig.

Stroking his hand, she looked at his otherwise relaxed face.

He was fast asleep and hadn't even noticed her entering his room.

Sometimes it seemed like sleeping was all his poor body could manage nowadays. He hadn't once been awake during all of her visits.

The doctors admittedly were convinced that he would soon be his old self again, but to Lynn he still looked mere steps away from certain death.

Sighing she lowered her head and wiped her eyes that had become wet with tears again.

Suddenly his hand twitched, and as she looked up again she saw his lids flutter.

Slowly he awoke from his sleep and blinked a few times as his green eyes landed on her.

"Lynn?", he whispered weakly.

"How long have you been here?"

"For half an hour." She nearly choked on her words. He was awake... Finally.

"Half an hour of watching me sleep? Must have been quite a bore.", he joked.

She snorted.

Jeremiah wasn't the most humorous person, so Lynn knew that he'd only made a joke because he wanted to ease her worries.

"I'm so glad you're alive.", she breathed. He cracked a faint smile.

"I wasn't exactly planning on leaving this world. I had been working so long and hard on my latest project that I stopped paying attention to my body's most basic needs. I'm about to apply to Meyer and Hayes, and I wanted to impress them by showing off my skills. Isn't it ironic that my pride almost got me killed?"

"Oh, Xander.", she said, not wanting to call him by his real name in a place like this.

"I was so afraid of losing you. Please, don't ever do that again. Promise me."

He took her hand, his thumb stroking hers gently.

"I do not intend to repeat my mistakes. Rest assured.", he said, his voice sounding even more raspy than it usually did.

Lynn glanced at her wristwatch and pulled a face.

"I'm sorry.", she sighed. "But I need to go and get ready for the evening. Matt has reserved a table for us at the Beijing Garden."

Jeremiah pulled his hand away and frowned.

"Matt?", he repeated questioningly.

"Your best friend's brother?"

"Yes. My boyfriend since last week."

"Boyfriend?!"

Lynn flinched as he practically spat the word out.

"Y-Yes?", she stuttered, confused by his change of demeanour.

"Huh... So while I was fighting death, you were busy throwing yourself at the first bozo available? What a great friend you are, to put your well-being over that of others. How selfish. I can only imagine how inconvenient this courtesy visit must feel to you. Wasting your time on me instead on your oh so precious boyfriend.", he mocked.

"What?", she shrieked furiously, shocked at his choice of words. "How can you say that?"

He turned his head away from her, remaining silent.

"Oh no, J-Xander, I won't give you a pass on that!", Lynn bellowed and grabbed his hand rather rudely, forcing him to look at her.

"I've spent hours crying my eyes out over your stupid ass, and you have the gall to practically call me disloyal?"

He chuckled evilly. An ugly, humourless sound.

"I'm not the one fucking some dude like a common whore while my best friend is in hospital, on the brink of death! That is as disloyal as it can get!", Jeremiah snarled, eyes ablaze with unhinged fury.

She slapped him. Hard. For a moment it seemed like he was about to hit her, too. But he didn't. Instead, he looked at her as if she was the most hideous thing he had ever seen in his entire life.

Lynn gulped heavily. A slap wouldn't have hurt her as much as the way he watched her now. Still, she found the courage to address him again.

"Watch your tongue, Xander. I'll leave now, before I really forget myself."

She stood from her chair, shaking with rage. Upon leaving his room he yelled at her.

"Don't bother to come crawling back again, Lynn. I dislike it when my time is wasted. Especially by people that are not worthy of my attention."

The door closed behind her, and Lynn burst into tears.

*

"What's wrong?"

Matt eyed her worriedly. During their restaurant visit Lynn hadn't eaten much, and now on their way back to Matt's car, she was unnaturally silent. Not at all her cheerful self.

Lynn sniffled.

"I had an argument with a friend of mine. The one who's in hospital, you remember? He said horrible things to me. Called me disloyal and other, meaner words because I didn't dedicate all my time to sitting by his bedside. He nearly lost his life. It's true. But that doesn't entitle him to treat me like this. My life doesn't revolve around him, for God's sake."

Matt embraced her.

"What an idiot.", he said stroking her hair and kissing her head.

"Don't think too much about it, Lynn. He'll get a hold of himself. I'm sure."

"Maybe, but I'm not so sure if I can forgive him. He hurt me, Matt."

"It's up to you, angel. If you think he's not worthy of your forgiveness, then don't."

"But I don't want to lose him, too. God, why does this have to be so complicated? I want us to still be friends, but at the same time I'm so angry at him that I can't even stand his face."

"Relax honey."

Matt pulled away only to lean in for a kiss.

"Stop overthinking the situation, love. You both need time to sort this out, okay? Let's get some ice cream. Your favourite flavour. How does that sound?"

She smiled weakly and wiped the tears off her face that had again begun to fall.

"Sounds good."

Somehow he managed to cheer her up and as they got close to her place, she was smiling again.

"Do you want to stay overnight?", she shyly asked, clutching the front door key.

"My parents aren't here. They went to visit my aunt Patricia for the weekend.", she added.

Matt gulped. Was she hinting at getting intimate?

The look on his face must have been quite obvious, for she hastily held up her hands.

"No, I wasn't driving at that, Matt. I don't want to rush things, you know? But I thought we could watch a movie or two together. Cuddle on the couch and... stuff...", she said sheepishly.

He exhaled in relief.

Not that he didn't want to sleep with her, but they'd just started dating. It was a bit too soon for this next big step in their relationship.

"You can sleep in the guest room, if you want to."

He nodded.

"I'd love to."

She smiled and opened the front door.

A few minutes later the two of them were cuddling on the sofa, watching Indiana Jones. Matt stroked her head, a bit absent-mindedly.

He felt happy.

He'd had other girlfriends and he had loved each and one of them, but Lynn was... different. This relationship didn't feel like sandbox love, and it had just started.

It was a strange feeling, albeit a good one.

He closed his eyes and savoured the weight of her head in his lap.

If someone had told him ten years prior that he would one day fall in love with his sister's best friend, he would have laughed it off.

He remembered how annoying she had been as a teen. Always gushing about the latest bands, stars and other topics teenage girls deemed important.

Look at us now, he thought with a gentle smile.

Who would have thought...

*

Meanwhile, Jeremiah Valeska grit his teeth. How could Lynn betray him like this? How could she give up her heart so easily to some obscure bloke?

Just the thought of those ruby red lips kissing another man... He nearly wanted to vomit. Those lips belonged to him! How could she not know that?

You didn't exactly tell her that you had fallen in love with her, silly broski.

He scoffed at the voice inside his head that sounded annoyingly like his brother's.

More unwanted images flooded his mind.

Her hair fanned out on a pillow, eyes closed, mouth shaped to a perfect O as she was caught in the throes of passion while a faceless man was making love to her. Making love to his... HIS property!

Jeremiah balled his fists.

He couldn't let that happen.

This relationship had to end. Lynn had to return to the man she belonged to, that much was clear!

He was distracted from his dark and twisted thoughts by his foster mother's voice.

"Xander?"

Jeremiah looked at her, hiding the fury he still felt under a mask of indifference.

"Yes, mother?"

"You didn't eat your dinner, love. You need to regain your strength, though. Please, love, just eat."

"I'll eat when I'm hungry. Which isn't the case right now."

"What happened?"

God, why couldn't she let it be?

"I beg your pardon?"

"Something happened. I can see it. You're trying very hard to hide it, but I can see how angry you are. Did Lynn and you get into an argument?"

He let out a sigh. That woman was too nosy for her own good. Once again it became clear that he had to reduce the contact to her. Her influence on him had become too big. He would start looking for his own place the moment he could leave this damn hospital. It was about time he moved on.

"It's nothing.", he said softly.

Anne Wilde rolled her eyes.

"Xander...", she tried again, but he interrupted her.

"Really, mother. I just can't wait to get out of here. That is all. See? No need to worry."

"If you say so.", she said, sounding unconvinced.


	8. Chapter VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you'll have fun reading chapter VIII.

Chapter VIII

She didn't visit Jeremiah again. Still fed up with the way he had treated her she couldn't bring herself to be forbearing with him.

On top of that she could still hear his voice inside her head.

_Don't bother to come crawling back again, Lynn..._

If that was what he wanted she would oblige him.

Nevertheless, Lynn found herself thinking about him. Aside from the grudge she held against the young man, she was still worried about his well-being. Had he recovered from his near death experience? Was he out of the hospital now?

There were no news about him.

Anne hadn't called her mother since the day she'd informed them about the accident that had nearly cost him his life, and Lynn didn't have the guts to call the woman and ask her about her foster son's current condition.

Time went by, and before she knew it, a month had passed followed by another.

Jeremiah wasn't her only problem child, though. In fact he soon became less important to her than she possibly could have imagined. And once again, Matt was the trigger.

After her graduation she had decided to become a Nursery School Teacher and thus had started studying in order to get the required degrees. Consequently, she had to spend a lot of time on the subject matter and didn't see Matt as much as she liked. Still, it was manageable. What wasn't manageable, though, were the rumours that had started to spread out of nowhere. Former High School friends of her began to claim that they had heard Matt was cheating on her. At first she had laughed it off, but then the photos appeared. Photos that showed him kissing other women. Matt had protested his innocence, declaring that they were fakes, that he had obviously been framed. Sarah even vouched for him, but Lynn just couldn't turn a blind eye to the evidence at hand, especially not after one of the girls in the photos had come up to her just to inform her that she'd had a very satisfying one-night stand with him.

It was the final straw and Lynn saw no alternative. She broke up with him. Matt didn't take it well. He was hurt, angry, and dismayed that she didn't believe in his innocence. He continued to insist on having been tricked by some jealous ex-girlfriend. But Lynn was tired of listening to his feeble excuses. She practically slammed the door in his face.

The young woman spent weeks crying her eyes out, feeling lonely and utterly miserable. Since she was still living at her parents' her mother and father were very aware of her emotional state, but they couldn't really help her. To make matters worse she was still very much in love with him, and the pain she hence felt was excruciating. It was as if her heart was constantly being shattered. Again and again. Day by day.

How could someone who usually was so sweet and caring betray her without even batting an eyelash? She just couldn't wrap her head around it.

To distract herself from the heartbreak and the icy silence that had spread between Sarah and her in the wake of the break-up she practically immersed herself in her work.

On one uncomfortably cold evening shortly after the whole dirty affair she sat in her parent's living room, tightly wrapped in a blanket and cuddling with the huge stuffed dog that her father had bought for her mum as the name Valeska suddenly came up in the news.

Lynn sat up abruptly, looking wide-eyed at the TV screen that showed a familiar and yet entirely foreign face. As if doused with cold water she began to shake like a leaf while staring at the mug shot of the eerily grinning redhead that looked so much like his twin brother.

"... Valeska, who was convicted of matricide yesterday, will be admitted to Arkham Asylum where he will serve his life sentence."

She felt the blood drain from her face as she heard what the news anchor was saying. Matricide... Jeremiah's brother had killed their mother.

"Excuse me for a moment.", she mumbled numbly as she got up from the sofa. Oblivious to the anxious glance her mother gave her, she made her way to the hallway and up the stairs to her room.

There she pulled out her phone and began to dial Anne Wilde's number. She had to talk to Jeremiah, had to ask him if he needed her. Their dispute was momentarily forgotten for she couldn't stay mad at him. Not under these circumstances. Not when he surely was in dire need of his only friend. Not when his mother had just died.

Anne picked up after a good minute.

"Wilde?", she answered the phone, sounding quite tired.

"Hey Anne, it's me. Lynn."

"Oh, hey princess.", the older woman greeted her.

"Is Xander at home? I need to talk to him."

"Oh honey. He didn't tell you, hn?"

"Tell me what?", Lynn asked with growing trepidation.

"He moved out a month and a half ago. He's started to work for Meyer and Hayes, and said he needed to stand on his own two feet."

"Oh... Have you got his address?"

Anne sighed sadly.

"Sweetheart, Xander doesn't want to be found. In consideration of the current circumstances, I have to say he had every right not to disclose his whereabouts. Neither Henry nor I have his address. He visits us from time to time, but we can't visit him. I'm sorry, my little pumpkin. If he doesn't want to see you, there's no way you'll find him."

"Alright... Uhm, thank you, nonetheless.", Lynn answered, hearing her voice break.

"You're welcome, love. Have a nice evening."

Anne hung up.

Lynn stared at the phone dumbfoundedly, her vision got blurry and soon enough the first tears fell onto the device in her hands.

He'd given up on her. He'd moved on, had stopped thinking of her as the only person he could confide in.

She felt like someone had stabbed her heart.

Jeremiah had ended their friendship by robbing them both of the chance to reconcile.

Suddenly the night felt much much colder and just plain cruel.

*

Jerome Valeska was all over the news. His viciously grinning face greeted her from every newspaper in town and every news program on TV.

More and more grisly details about his matricide got abroad, and one very attention seeking journalist even interviewed Jerome during his first week at Arkham Asylum.

Lynn had read the whole disgusting interview and found herself still flinching whenever her mind repeated fragments of what Jerome had answered.

**Do you regret what you did?**

_Why should I regret such an extraordinary experience? I've never felt more connected to dear old Ma as when she lay on the ground bleeding out, looking at me with pleading eyes. It was so... intimate..._

**Have you ever loved your mother?**

_I honestly can't remember. Who cares? Do your readers like sob stories? Cause I don't! Look, Karen, you are very close to boring me which is never a good sign. If you value your life then make me laugh, baby! HA HA HA!_

Jeremiah had been right all along. His brother was absolutely deranged, and the most dangerous person Lynn had ever heard of. Thank God he was locked away. Just the thought of a man like Jerome being on the loose spelled out deadly peril to each and every citizen of an already crime-ridden Gotham.

And then, a few weeks later, the thought became a nightmarish reality. Jerome had broken out of Arkham, together with some other notorious inmates, including a cannibal that had killed and eaten a dozen women.

His group of criminals didn't waste time, and the message they left for the city in the form of people being thrown from the rooftop of a multistorey- building could not have been clearer: We are maniacs. There's no reasoning with us. Got it, ya fools?

Lynn locked herself in her parents' house, seized with the unnatural fear of Jerome somehow finding out her connection to his twin brother, and coming for her to torture her and her parents in order to get some much needed information about his twin. She hoped beyond hope that the G.C.P.D would get hold of the redheaded lunatic, but as the days passed it became apparent that they were quite helpless against him.

It seemed like Jerome either had help from someone very influential or he was just so clever that he kept succeeding at always being one step ahead. Whatever the case was, he was still on the loose, wreaking havoc on poor Gotham while the G.C.P.D looked on helplessly.

A few weeks after his break out from Arkham Asylum a storm gathered.

Lynn was alone at home and busy trying to finish a paper on the importance of teaching ESL in early child care when the first claps of thunder sounded in the distance.

Gulping nervously she looked up from her work.

She had never been afraid of a thunderstorm before, but with a bunch of convicted murderers roaming the streets of Gotham, and the underlying fear of being confronted with them, even such a natural phenomenon like a thunderstorm seemed hostile and violent.

Wasn't that what happened in every third-class thriller movie?

The killer breaking into his victim's house in the dead of night, accompanied by loud claps of thunder and flashes of lightning?

She balled her fists and tried to think of something nice while at the same time repeating one sentence in her mind like a mantra.

Jerome won't come for you. Jerome won't come for you. Jerome won't come for you.

Fortunately, Lynn ended up with some memories of her trip to the Caribbean two years ago when the world had been okay. Sighing in relief, she thought of the sun, the warmth of the summer nights, the smell of exotic food and Nassau's picturesque city centre.

And then the lights went out, and she sat in complete darkness.

Someone screamed, and it took her a few seconds to figure out that it had been her who'd uttered the high-pitched, scary sound.

Trembling with fear, she stood from her chair, crossed the room and tried the light switch. Nothing. Biting her lower lip, she came to the conclusion that the fuse had blown which meant she had to fix it.

Her heart was beating fast as she slowly exited her room.

Nightmarish images flooded her brain, and she found it hard to focus. It was as if her mind practically begged her to succumb to her panic.

He isn't here. He isn't here. It wasn't him. It was the fuse... The fuse has blown... Nothing more.

It felt as if hours went by while she made her way downstairs towards the basement.

The wooden stairs creaked with every step, the eerie sound resounding in her head like the blasts of canons. By now her whole body was shaking, and her heart was somewhere in her throat, beating painfully.

She reached the foot of the stairs and proceeded to walk to the door that led to the basement.

And then, in the twinkling of an eye, her head felt like it was being split open. Lynn blinked one, two times before falling into the bottomless, pitch-black abyss that inexplicably had appeared out of thin air in front of her eyes.


	9. Chapter IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy chapter IX :)

Chapter IX

The first thing she felt as she regained consciousness was the most splitting headache she'd ever had the misfortune to endure. The second was the soft underground on which she lay. Slowly rising from her current position she found herself sitting on a huge bed that smelled like something very familiar. Taking in her surroundings rather confused she tried to remember what had happened. Where was she?

She had been at home. The lights had gone out and then... absolute darkness.

In an instant fear gnawed at her heart with razor-sharp teeth. She had been kidnapped and now Jerome would come and...

"I see you are awake."

She whirled around only to stare at the all too familiar figure of Jeremiah Valeska, standing in the doorway, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"J-Jeremiah?", Lynn croaked.

She hastily got out of bed, but upon approaching him her headache became so excruciatingly painful that her legs gave out.

He was at her side in a matter of seconds, catching her just in time before she hit the ground.

"Careful.", he said gently, scooping her up in his arms and carrying her back to the bed.

"How...", Lynn began, but he held up a hand to silence her.

"I'll explain everything you need to know in a minute, Lynn. But before I do I want you to drink this."

He pointed at a glass full of murky white liquid that was standing innocently on the nightstand.

"It'll help ease the headache.", he stated.

Hesitatingly Lynn reached for the glas and took a sip.

"Ugh."

"I know, but you must drink all of it. Do you trust me?"

She looked at him, and for a moment she wanted to shake her head. After all he had done, after kidnapping her, he deserved her distrust. But her sentimental heart thought otherwise, reminded her of more than eight years of friendship in which he had never physically harmed her.

She put the glass to her lips and downed the content.

Jeremiah watched her approvingly.

"Thank you, my love."

He took the glass and set it back on the nightstand. After a few seconds of silence he began to talk again.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your head. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. My proxy seems to have misinterpreted my orders."

Jeremiah stopped for a moment to draw a deep breath. Then he continued.

"For quite some time now I've wanted to apologize for my behaviour during your last visit. I wasn't fair, and you had every right to be mad at me. I said things I regret saying with all my heart. I behaved like an arse, but back then I was so afraid of being cast aside on grounds of you having a boyfriend that I lashed out and cut the ties to spare myself the persisting hurt of gradually losing the only friend I ever had to a total stranger. I honestly thought that a quick ending would cause me less pain. I've never been more wrong. I spent months trying to find the courage to call you and make amends for what I did to you, but the moment I knew how to approach you, my brother resurfaced and I had to alter the plan. I couldn't visit you, so I had to find a way to get you here without you being aware of your current location. I know you'll see the necessity in my approach. Should Jerome ever find out about Xander Wilde and the people he let into his life he'll come for you. If he tortured you, you could disclose my whereabouts thus putting me in mortal danger. So I sent my proxy to get you, but as I've already said, she didn't do what I told her. You were to be brought unharmed. I'm sorry. I... I never..."

She watched as his eyes filled with tears, and his face contorted as if he was in severe pain. Lynn felt her heart constrict. God, how could she stay mad at him if he suffered so much?

"It's okay. I understand. I'm just happy that you wanted to see me again. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.", she said almost sobbing while pulling him into a hug, inhaling a sniff of his cologne.

"I have said so many awful things, Lynn. The truth is: I want you in my life, as my best friend. I need your friendship. Especially now that my deranged brother is back. I need your company, your reassurance, your warmth and sympathy. And should I ever be free to live a normal life I would be happy to get introduced to your boyfriend.", he soothingly whispered in her ear.

Lynn gasped for air as all the negative thoughts about Matt came crashing down on her the moment Jeremiah had mentioned him. She automatically burst into tears.

"Lynn? What's wrong?" He pulled away, worry etched onto his face.

"H-he..." She choked on the words and had to start again.

"He cheated on me.", she cried out miserably.

Jeremiah's eyes widened in disbelief.

"I'm sorry to hear that. No one deserves to get his heart broken like this."

"Th-Thank you."

She buried her head in the crook of his neck, taking comfort in his warm embrace and his soothing smell.

"You should rest a bit. I called your parents to inform them that you'll stay for the night. My proxy will bring you back once you feel better."

She nodded, but blushed as it crossed her mind that she was obviously currently sitting on his bed.

"I can't sleep here.", she mumbled.

"Why not?", Jeremiah asked a bit confused.

"This is your bed, isn't it?"

"Indeed it is, but I didn't want you to sleep on the sofa in my living room. It's not as comfortable."

"But where will you sleep now?"

"On the sofa.", he answered matter- of - factly.

She opened her mouth to object, but he held his hand up once more.

"It's alright. Sleep now. You look tired."

He stood up and went towards the bedroom door. On the threshold he turned around again, looking at her with a gentle smile.

"Just call for me should you need anything. I'll hear you. The living room is across from this room."

And with that he went out of sight.

Lynn leaned back. Resting her head on the soft pillow and tugging the cover up to her chin she was once again met with his scent.

She woke in the middle of the night to her own screaming and to Jeremiah's soothing voice.

"You had a nightmare.", he stated in a low voice while his right hand was stroking her cheek comfortingly.

Lynn stared at her hands that lay in her lap, still shaking from the aftermath of the grisly fantasy her overworked mind had plagued her with. She'd dreamt of Jerome, slicing Jeremiah's throat in front of her before making her hold his corpse until it got as cold as ice. God, she could still hear his words inside her head.

_Give him a hug, little one... My dearest brother is so unfeeling right now, I think he needs your touch..._

As she saw Jeremiah getting up to leave her again, she grasped the hem of his pajama top, in a twinge of panic.

"Don't go. Stay.", she groaned desperately, not yet ready to face being alone after such a traumatic experience.

She didn't notice the way he blushed, nor how his hands started to tremble ever so slightly.

"A-Are you sure?"

She didn't even notice how rough his voice suddenly sounded.

"Just hold me, please.", she whispered, feeling like a child that needed someone strong. Someone reassuring.

The mattress dipped as he hesitantly got into bed next to her.

Without even thinking further about it, she snuggled up to him. Totally oblivious to his sharp intake of breath and his rapidly beating heart.

Her mind was much too preoccupied with coming to terms with the nightmare she had experienced to pay any attention to Jeremiah's reaction towards her close proximity to him.

The only thing she noticed was how warm he felt, how strong and solid.

Lynn closed her eyes, ready to fall asleep again. In the arms of her best friend.

*

He didn't get a wink of sleep. Whenever he tried to skulk off, she would wake up only to pull him closer to her. And now he didn't even dare to move out of fear she could wake up again and notice what he by all means wanted to keep from her. He closed his eyes, trying very hard to get rid of the erection that distinctly tented his satin pajama trousers. Which proved to be quite difficult for whenever she stirred in her sleep her rear tended to brush against his member, thus worsening his predicament.

He'd dreamt of her sleeping in his arms before, but this was plain torture and not at all like his dreams had led him to believe.

She rolled around, and he bit his tongue hard to stifle the groan that was crawling up his throat. Now his member brushed her crotch. It was too much.

He whimpered, unable to stop himself.

She stirred again. Fearing that she might wake up now, he closed his eyes, ready to pretend being fast asleep to spare himself utter humiliation, much like he'd done on that evening at his foster parents' house when she had kissed his cheek.

He heard her sigh, followed by a surprised sound, and he just knew that this time she'd definitely become aware of his erection.

He kept his eyes closed and tried to breathe in a pattern in which a person would breathe when they were truly asleep.

Not for anything in the world, could he let her know that he was in fact very much awake.

*

It wasn't the first time that she had woken up to a man's morning wood poking her. It had happened with Matt before whenever he'd slept in her bed, and it had never felt odd.

Jeremiah, however, was a different case.

She'd first met him as a child, and though she had witnessed his growing up, she'd somehow never thought of him as a sexual being. Which was ridiculous. He was a man after all.

Watching his relaxed face from underneath her lashes, she contemplated what she felt right now. The evidence of his gender pushing against her own most private parts felt a bit... disturbing?

Not in a revolting way, though. She didn't feel grossed out by it.

Lynn bit her lips, finding that she couldn't really describe it. It was odd. The unfamiliar heat pooling in her belly, the strange, slightly unpleasant twitching of something deep inside her.

She and Matt had had sex before, but she couldn't remember feeling the same things when he had been about to get intimate with her. Which was why it was so odd. Was it her body's way of telling her that Jeremiah and her weren't uhm... compatible because they didn't have a romantic relationship?

Was it some kind of warning to not sleep with him? Not that she wanted to, he was her friend after all. He was Jeremiah, for God's sake. Lynn pulled her lower lip between her teeth.

In such moments she cursed herself for being so inexperienced and prude that she couldn't even read her body's language. Well, one thing was clear: She would have to put some space between him and her if she didn't want him to be embarrassed the moment he opened his eyes. Slowly she backed away, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't wake.

He didn't. Relieved she got out of his bed and exited his bedroom. When he woke, he would never know what had happened this morning. He would find her sitting in his living room which was just across his bedroom and they could continue being innocent friends. Plain vanilla...


	10. Chapter X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is chapter X, too :)

Chapter X

Ecco, his very taciturn and quite dismissive proxy, brought her home in the afternoon. Lynn had left Jeremiah's current place of residence without ever being able to tell where it was located. Ecco had made sure of that with a blindfold. Blindfolded she had exited his place and blindfolded she had stayed during the entire drive home.

It had only come off the moment the car had stopped in front of her parent's house.

"Should my boss feel inclined to see you again, I'll call you. I expect you to be ready at the appointed time."

Ecco didn't even look at her face as she said these words in her monotonous voice.

"O-Okay...", Lynn stuttered, feeling quite intimidated by the robotic woman. She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door as fast as she could without leaving the impression of wanting to flee from the other woman's presence, and thus appearing to be rude.

Lynn got out of the car and watched on dumbfoundedly as the woman drove off without a word of goodbye.

From what she had understood Ecco wasn't living with Jeremiah, but spent most of her time in his presence to make sure he was safe and sound. She also dealt with his superiors at work and did most of his shopping for him.

Still, Ecco didn't exactly seem like someone whose company you could enjoy.

Where on earth had he found such a cold, unfeeling individual?

Lynn shuddered. No wonder he had been happy to see her. Hopefully, he would send for her again. She would have hated for him to become as unsociable as Ecco was. He needed someone warm and jovial. Someone who could make him smile, who could make him forget for a few hours that his life would be at stake as long as Jerome was alive.

Lynn tore her gaze away from the silver car that was speeding off into the distance and walked towards the front door, pulling her keys out of her bag. Ecco had not only knocked her unconscious that evening, no, she had also made sure to pack a bag with her keys, some spare clothes and toiletries for her stay. That woman really was odd as hell. She had nearly split her poor skull before she made sure that she didn't lack some kind of comfort during her stay.

Lynn opened the front door and entered the hallway.

Upon approaching the kitchen, she could hear the voices of her mother and Matt. Balling her hands into fists, she practically barged into the room, ready to give him a piece of her mind.

However, she stopped dead in her tracks as she saw the young, familiar woman sitting next to him at the kitchen table. It was the same girl that had claimed to have had sex with him.

Taken aback by the blatant gall he'd found to bring this floosie with him, she glared at her ex-boyfriend, absolutely speechless.

"Before you try and throw me out, I beg you to listen to me.", Matt started the moment he saw her.

Lynn grit her teeth. Why should she listen to him? What was the point? Did he come here just to mock her? God, she was fighting so hard right now not to cry on top of her anger.

"Please, love. Do him a favour and just listen. I'm sure your anger will deflate, darling, once you know what really happened all those weeks ago.", her mother grabbed the chance to pipe up.

Lynn swallowed, trying to get rid of the huge lump in her throat that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere and was currently making it hard to breathe. Her own mother stood up for him? Should she really hear him out? Her mother wouldn't have pleaded with her if what he had to say wasn't important...

She looked at Matt for a moment, scrutinizing his face intently. Then she made her decision and gave him a small, almost imperceptible nod.

He let out a sigh of relief.

"This is-", he began, but Lynn interrupted him angrily.

"I know who that girl is. She claimed she had sex with you. Spare me the introduction. Cut the shit and tell me what you want, and why she's here.", she hissed, ignoring her mother's gasp on account of her rude choice of words.

Matt held up his hands in a calming gesture.

"Alright, alright.", he said quietly.

"Julia is here because she wants to tell you the truth."

Right on cue the girl cleared her throat, and as she raised her head to look Lynn straight in the eyes, she could see that the regret in her blue ones' wasn't faked, but genuine.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your relationship with Matt. I know it's no excuse, but a couple of other female friends and I were offered quite some money to spread those manipulated photographies and to lie about our relationship to your boyfriend. We were greedy and stupid. And so we agreed. We never saw her face, but she took photos of us in obvious positions, gave us the order to drive a wedge between you and Matt and left. We didn't think about whether it was the right thing to do or not. We just wanted the money which was transferred to our bank accounts after the two of you had broken up. People tend to do all sorts of horrible things for the right prize. I know that now, and the guilt is burdening. I don't expect you to forgive me, and I don't want to beg for it because I know full well I don't deserve it. But I needed to tell you this, lest I can finally find some peace from my guilty consciousness."

*

The girl had shown her the bank statement with the transferred sum of money she'd gotten for her participation in this farce.

And with that her doubts had been settled.

Matt hadn't lied to her. He hadn't cheated. He'd been innocent all along, and she hadn't even given him the benefit of the doubt.

Lynn felt horrible, and not at all worthy of his wish to fix their relationship.

He wanted her back. After all that had happened he still wanted her to be his girlfriend.

Silently crying into her pillow, Lynn contemplated what to do.

She still reciprocated his feelings for her. She still wanted them to be together, but she also knew that even though his name had been cleared by Julia's confession, she had trust issues. 

She had gone through so much pain in the wake of their break-up. She'd not only lost him, but also Sarah.

How could they go on now? Would they pretend that nothing had happened? How could they pretend that everything was coming up roses when the person responsible for the lies and deception that lead to their break-up was still out there? Matt still suspected one of his ex-girlfriends to be the culprit, but since he didn't have any solid arguments, he couldn't prove her involvement in this fraud. 

Sniffling she sat up and dialed the number Ecco had given her. The one Jeremiah had used while he had been at university had become obsolete, and so this number was the only one she had to contact him. It was essentially supposed to be an emergency number, but to Lynn this felt like one. She needed Jeremiah's levelheadedness, his logic. He would know what the best decision was, wouldn't he?

Ecco picked up after a few seconds.

"What happened?", the woman asked.

"I need to talk to Jeremiah."

"Is it because of Jerome Valeska? Did he approach you?"

"N-no... I just want to talk to my best friend, Ecco."

For a moment she was met with nothing but silence. Then Ecco spoke again, this time with the slightest trace of irritation in her monotonous voice.

"This is an emergency number, Miss Parker. I thought I made myself clear when I said it wasn't to be misused. Besides, the boss is currently busy working. He doesn't have time for you. I wish you a nice evening and advice you to not use this number for idle talk again."

She hung up.

Lynn couldn't fathom it. Ecco had not only chastised her as if she was nothing but a child, no, she had also kept her from talking to her friend. To Lynn it was clear that Jeremiah would have gladly listened to her if Ecco had just given her the chance.

*

In the end she talked about the matter with her mother who encouraged her to give it a try.

A week later she met Matt in a park in Gotham's city centre, and the two of them spend the time talking and making up without showing each other physical affection.

They both wanted to start again slowly considering that their first relationship hadn't exactly ended on good terms.

A month went by in which they gradually became braver, and in which Lynn succeeded at reconciling with Sarah again.

Life suddenly felt good again, that was until Jerome Valeska and his sycophants practically slaughtered all of Gotham's police department members. He'd lain low for a while which was why her attention had shifted from him and the immediate danger he posed towards her problems with Matt.

But with the bloodbath at the G.C.P.D her fear for Jeremiah's and her family's safety came back with a vengeance. Something that didn't go lost on Matt.

"I know it's horrible what that lunatic did, but you make it sound like you might become his next target.", he remarked one Friday evening, after she had declined to watch a new comedy movie at the cinema with him because of Jerome being out and about.

Since she couldn't tell him the real reason behind her panic, she could only come up with excuses that sounded lame even to her own ears.

"I'm just frightened. He kills without a thought, Matt. What if we run into him on our way back from the cinema? He wouldn't spare us.", she retorted.

Matt pulled a face.

"So what now? You want to lock yourself up in your room? Stay inside til he gets caught and sent back to Arkham? You can't be serious."

"Do you have a better idea?", she hissed, fed up with not being able to tell him why her panic was justified.

"Yes, go outside and live a bit, Lynn. Don't let Jerome Valeska dampen your spirits."

She shook her head in annoyance. God, if he only knew...

Matt let out a sigh.

"I will not force you to come with me, but neither will I stay at your's tonight. I've wanted to watch this movie since the first trailer was released. I hope you can understand that."

He got up from her bed where they had spent most of the afternoon cuddling.

"It's okay. Have fun.", Lynn whispered. She couldn't forbid him to go, didn't want to appear clingy. Still, this wasn't how she had imagined the evening to play out.

"I'll see you next Friday, love."

He leaned in for a quick kiss. Then he pulled away and exited her room.

He'd been gone for a minute when her phone rang.

It was Ecco.

"Be ready in 10. The boss expressed the wish to see you."

And with that she hung up. Lynn blinked.

The nerve of that woman!, she thought as she got ready.

To call on such a short notice, ordering her around like she was some mere servant.

It's not her fault, a voice inside her head piped up.

She's just the messenger. It's Jeremiah whom came to mind that now would be a perfect time to meet you.

"Maybe I should tell him that this is not how you make appointments.", she mumbled while putting on her boots.


	11. Chapter XI

Chapter XI

Ecco took her blindfold off the moment she stepped over the threshold of what supposedly was his front door.

"Follow me.", the woman said distantly.

Lynn did as told and soon entered a spacious dining room which she hadn't set eyes on during her last visit.

Jeremiah was standing with his back to her at the far end of the room, seemingly looking at a huge, old- fashioned oil painting of the Russian Winter Palace in St. Petersburg.

"Pardon my sudden demand of your presence. I hope I didn't cause you any inconvenience.", he said without turning around.

"I was in dire need of some company."

Lynn threw a glance at Ecco who eyed her bosse's back with an indifferent expression on her face.

There was no way of telling whether the woman had taken offence to his words. After all he'd just unapologetically stated that he didn't see his proxy as company.

"I hope you haven't already had dinner. Consider this a surprise and my way of offering an apology for my behaviour at the hospital. It seemed to me that words just weren't enough.", he went on, turned around and gestured smugly at the huge dining table that stood in the middle of the room.

It was only now that Lynn saw the dished up food that was bathed in the warm light of multiple candles.

Confused she stared at the table. The sight reminded her of those awful historical movies where the young noble woman sits down to dine with a stranger she now has to call husband.

She cleared her throat nervously.

"Uhm... No, I didn't have dinner..."

Jeremiah clapped his hands.

"Excellent. I thought we should start the evening with something dignified like a dinner. Please, take a seat."

He flashed his white teeth at her in a bright smile that was gone in an instant when he turned his attention to Ecco who had been silently waiting for instructions the entire conversation.

"You can leave."

His proxy bowed her head and exited the room.

Lynn watched her retreating form disappear around the corner, feeling a bit sorry for her. Yes, she was some kind of servant, but that didn't mean he had to treat her with such condescendence.

Still nervous she sat on the chair at the end of the table while Jeremiah was taking up position at its head.

It felt strange. He seemed to sit miles away from her.

"Uhm...", she started.

"Who... uhm cooked all this?" She gestured at the food.

"Ecco took care of that. She ordered the food at the most expensive restaurant in Gotham."

Lynn's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to tell him that he shouldn't spend so much money on dinner with a friend, but he interrupted her.

"Please, just enjoy it, Lynn. Enjoy the food, the evening, and, hopefully, my company.", he said, blushing slightly at the last three words.

She smiled lopsidedly. Eight years of friendship and he was still afraid of losing her favour or getting on her nerves.

"I'll always enjoy your company, Jeremiah. You mean so much to me. You are my only best friend.", she reassured him. Then she helped herself to the food, wanting to show her goodwill and compliance.

Had she paid attention to his facial expression instead, she would have noticed the sudden change from yearning to disappointment at the word friend. It obviously wasn't what he had wanted to hear.

They ate in near silence for a good ten minutes, the clinking of cutlery on china being the only sound, apart from the soft classical tunes that came out of the loudspeakers of a hi-fi system.

Jeremiah seemed to be lost in thoughts and Lynn didn't want to disturb him, so she just kept her mouth shut, trying to ignore the strange atmosphere in the room and the pressing question she had.

"I hope the food is to your liking?", his soft voice reached her ear.

Lynn looked up from her plate and was met with his expectant gaze.

"It's delicious.", she answered truthfully.

He hummed in satisfaction.

"I also made sure to get your favourite dessert."

Lynn cracked a strained smile at him, feeling quite uneasy.

Why did all of this feel like Jeremiah had planned out a romantic dinner rather than a dinner between friends, much less an apology?

He couldn't have developed...? No, the thought in itself was utterly ridiculous.

_Well, how should he know that most people his age tend to order a pizza or other take- away food when having dinner with their friends? Remember, he's accustomed to his parent's dinner parties with your family, and they were always fancy._

Lynn was all too willing to trust the voice inside her head. This was Jeremiah's idea of spending time with his friend, and it simply wasn't her place to tell him that he'd exaggerated. He'd done his best to make her feel comfortable, to show how genuine his apology was, and she had no right to rain on his parade by telling him that she indeed felt quite out of place.

"I love it. Thank you so much.", she addressed him, trying to sound as if she really meant it.

He beamed at her, green eyes sparkling with happiness behind his glasses.

"I'm glad you enjoy it. I want you to have a nice evening. After all you have been through you deserve it."

God, how could she feel uneasy when all that had been on his mind was her well-being?

*

After dinner he led her to his living room where they sat down on the sofa. Jeremiah let her choose a movie, and she went for an old black and white comedy movie. It seemed to be the most innocuous choice in comparison with the other movies in his collection since the latter was composed of drama, romance and historical movies. Most of them older than his foster parents.

Sometimes his taste for everything old-fashioned only contributed to stress the feeling of alienation she sometimes still felt.

Jeremiah dimmed the lights and sat down right next to her.

He was so close she could practically feel the heat of his body.

Lynn didn't know what to make of this.

He'd always maintained some sort of distance to her. The only exception had been the night she'd begged him to hold her in her sleep. But to come so close on his own accord? That was new. What ever happened to "I don't want to invade your personal space."?

His hand brushed hers, and she was suddenly very aware of his warm and soft skin. She tore her gaze from the screen and looked at his hand whose long and slender fingers lay innocently on the back of her left hand. Out of the corner of her eyes, she glanced at his face, only to see that his green ones were fixated on the screen. The gesture must have been unintentional then.

She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"Does the movie bore you?"

She hastily shook her head.

"No, no. I feel relaxed, that's all."

He turned his head to look at her.

"That's good to hear."

Suddenly his hand came up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ears. The moment his fingers touched her cheek, Lynn couldn't help but gulp.

"There you go. Now you won't get hairs in your mouth.", he explained his action with a low chuckle. But Lynn didn't really listen. All she could do was stare at his face that was so close she could count the freckles on his pale skin.

She saw how his full lips parted, could feel his warm breath on her skin. His eyes closed and he leaned in for...

"Boss, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but Mister Taylor called. There's been trouble at your new construction site."

Jeremiah pulled away in an instant, glaring at Ecco who had seemingly appeared out of thin air.

He got up from the sofa and without looking at Lynn he excused himself curtly and followed Ecco outside.

Lynn could only stare at his retreating form.

She wasn't able to process what had happened or rather would have happened if Ecco hadn't intervened.

He'd leaned in for a kiss, hadn't he?

Had he really wanted to kiss her?

It couldn't be, it just couldn't be. He couldn't...

It was only now that Lynn noticed how pathetically she was shaking.

Wide-eyed she gasped for air while her poor brain was plagued by a stream of thoughts that were contradicting each other in high-pitched voices. It felt like her mind had become a madhouse in just a blink of an eye.

**You are imagining things.**

_He wanted to kiss you._

**That's Jeremiah you're talking about... Your friend.**

_Ahahaha and that means he'd never feel the need to kiss you?_

_Friendships between women and men never work. One of them is always bound to fall for the other._

**Jeremiah isn't in love with me.**

_Yeah, right... That romantic dinner wasn't enough proof, huh?_

**It was an apology!**

_It was a DATE for God's sake. One he didn't even tell you about, you utter dunce._

She violently shook her head in an effort to get rid of the voices. Trembling she stood from the couch, not knowing whether she should address the matter the moment Jeremiah returned or just pretend that nothing had happened.

God, what if she brought up the subject and he ended up confessing that he indeed had romantic feelings for her? Just the thought of having to tell him that she didn't reciprocate his feelings was cruel. She couldn't break his heart.

Damn it...

Why did he have to complicate things?

"I'll say I'm not feeling well. I'll beg him to let Ecco drive me home.", she whispered to herself.

"I need time to figure out how to tell him the truth without hurting him too much should he really harbour any romantic feelings for me."

Biting her lower lip and trying hard to get her trembling body back under control she exited the room and began to search for Jeremiah.

There was no sense in stalling anyways.

She found him on the phone in his study.

Standing awkwardly in the doorway she watched him pacing from one wall to the other and back, totally absorbed by the call.

"No, we won't get rid of the groundwater if we continue like this, that much is clear. What I want you to do now is to cease all work on the construction site."

There was a minute of silence. Then Jeremiah began to speak again. "I do have a plan, so there's no need to whine! I'll have the blueprints ready by tomorrow so that the workers can start to build the artificial lake where the water can gather without causing the structure to cave in."

The person he was talking to didn't seem to see any sense in his plan. Lynn couldn't hear what they were saying, but judging from the way Jeremiah balled his hands into fists, he didn't like what he was hearing.

"This plan is no joke, Mister Taylor, and I won't be spoken to like that just because you are impertinent enough to assume that my age serves as indication towards a certain lack of experience.", he spat pointedly. "It has been done before and I recommend you to do your research and look up the history of the construction of the famous Opera Garnier in Paris during the 19th century. Garnier actually came across the same problem. The artificial lake still exists, as well as the opera house which means that his solution to the problem proved to be efficient."

Another minute of silence.

"No, that won't be necessary. My proxy will be at the construction site at 7 o'clock sharp with all the instructions you need. I bid you good night, Mister Taylor."

Jeremiah hung up and turned around to face her...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, the artifical lake is no joke. It isn't a real lake though, more like a water tank, but that's what it has been called for years. xD


End file.
